even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Drake has all the answers
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
