question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
