Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
