my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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