U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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