Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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