Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
