if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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