thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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