so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
