I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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