Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
