redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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