Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Randomize
