Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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