im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
