I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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