Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
