Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is Oprah even human
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize