we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
