Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
