Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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