She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just had sex on a roof
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
