Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there's paper in my vomit.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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