She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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