I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
