so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
