Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
