I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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