um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
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