so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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