STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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