his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
