Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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