Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
