And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
