White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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