If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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