Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
