you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
