Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
