So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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