girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
