i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
