You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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