You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My breath smells like gin and sadness
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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