you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
