i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize