sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
