tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
