I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
