I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
