i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
