I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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