Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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