New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
