He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
