Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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