I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
