i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize